just kidding in that last CrAppy post nothing is wrong Life is Lovely everyTHing is Excellent i love my Pleasant Only girLfrIend so much CostErnation would fall upon me if I didn't

I've been coughing up phlegm for the last couple of days. It's pretty cool, I guess, because it's coming from the dark, scary recesses of my lungs and I don't usually see anything from in there. It's also a little dangerous because sometimes one is not in an area conducive to spitting out a wad of phlegm. I suspect that if I swallow enough phlegm, it will cause me to throw up. So I let it sit in my mouth until it dissolves. Or I show my girlfriend. She says she needs a break. Usually I laugh but last time she got up, went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and plunged into the couch about three inches from my leg.

I've finally figured out what's holding me back from becoming a hipster. It's these damn glasses.